I never want to hear the words “duvet cover” again.
If you’re wondering, a duvet cover is a blanket for your blanket. It’s a thing you buy when you’re an adult and you want a nice, clean bed to sleep in after a long, hard day of work. I’m not down on duvet covers. I get it. You spend a lot of time in bed; you want to be comfortable. But duvet covers are expensive. And if you don’t have the duvet itself, you have to buy that, too. Maybe even some matching pillowcases. And a nice throw if you’re feeling fancy.
Over the past several years, my fiance and I have shopped around for bedding more than I care to admit. The thing is, I’ve always insisted on the cheapest option. Here’s how our conversation usually goes:
BRIAN: We need new sheets. It’s cold and ours are uncomfortable.
ME: Cool. Let’s go look.
(GO TO THE STORE)
BRIAN: This one looks nice.
ME: Yeah, it does–WAIT FIFTY DOLLARS? Nope. Put it back. I know a dude that sells them outside the gas station for 20.
I’m not exaggerating. The first time we went shopping for sheets, we bought them from a dude outside the gas station for twenty bucks. Needless to say, they were stiff and uncomfortable and in the next few months, we wanted different bedding. So we went back. I cheaped out again. This happened a few more times in the next several years.
Recently, Brian said, “Hey we need a new duvet cover. This one warped in the washing machine.” I snapped, “How many times are we going to buy a new duvet cover?!” And then I realized: if we would’ve just spent the money on quality bedding in the first place, we wouldn’t be replacing it every six months or so.
Enough With the Duvet Covers!
It’s not just about the money. I hate shopping for bedding. I hate thinking about it. And since 2012, I’ve spent way more time and energy on duvets than a person should: shopping for them, researching them, searching for the best deal. I’m not saying I want to sleep blanket-less on the floor, but I want to save my energy for things that matter more to me. Writing stuff. Chatting on the phone with my mom. Taking a walk with Brian. Hugging on my cats. When I give considerable thought to my duvet situation, I’m not doing any of those things. I feel very much like a consumer.
It’s Not JUST About the Money
Sometimes, it just makes sense to spend the money. You might have heard of the Sam Vimes “Boots” Theory of Economic Injustice, from author Terry Pratchett:
A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.
But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years.
The excerpt is meant to explain the concept of “the rich get richer,” but it makes a good point about buying quality, too. As the saying goes, “buy cheap, buy twice.”
That’s nice and all, but to me, the best part about spending money on quality is reducing the amount of time you spend consuming. In other words: [Tweet “It’s not just about buying quality. It’s also about preserving your time and energy.”]
Money and Frugality Are Tools
One major realization I’ve had this year is that money and frugality are just tools. You have to think about the things that matter most to you in life, then use both of those tools accordingly. Sometimes, frugality helps you live the life you want. Other times, it makes more sense to spend the money. So how do you figure out how and when to use each tool? That’s where personal finance comes in. It’s sort of like a user’s manual. Learn to budget, spend mindfully, and find a balance between seizing the day and saving for the future.
Most people would agree that time is more valuable than money. I’m all for finding a deal. But there’s something to be said for just spending the money, especially if researching cheap options becomes a time sink. You have to weigh your time against your savings. When you think of money as a tool, it’s a lot easier to make the decision to spend or save.
Why Not Just Deal With Shitty Bedding, Rockefeller?
In college, I couldn’t justify spending $150+ on bedding when I earned $10 an hour and moved back in with my mom to pay off my student loan.
But I am no longer a college student. I am a 32-year-old woman who has worked hard to save money, earn more of it, and make herself financially secure. And dammit, I want to be comfortable. Beyond that, I always imagined financially security meant NOT having to worry so much about money. Yet here I am, fretting over the cost of something as silly as bedsheets, once again.
In some ways, thinking like a frugal college student has paid off: I live well below my means, and because of that, I’m able to save quite a bit. In other ways, it’s held me back. I still buy the cheap, replaceable thing that costs me more money and time in the long run.
The more I embrace my financial security, and the more I think of money as a tool, the better I am at optimizing the way I use it. My time and energy are a big part of the equation. And that’s why I decided to just buy the nice bedding.
Illustrator: Draden Ferguson
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I love this post! I am a classic under-buyer (of so many things) and you are so right–we waste time and money trying to be ultra-frugal. I think it lapses into being cheap at some point. Just buy it already! LOL!
It can be tough to gauge when to buy quality and when to spend the time and energy looking for the best deal. I like the “spend your money where you spend your time” rule. And that definitely applies to bedding: we spend 8+ hours a night in bed, after all. I guess it was still tough for me to pull the trigger, though, because you’re not awake during that time, haha. So part of me was like, “fifty bucks for sheets? I won’t even be awake to enjoy them!”
This was a hard lesson for me to learn, and frankly, I’m still learning it. I do tend to buy better options when it comes to footwear, handbags and kitchen items, but I’m still scrimping on the bedding. What is it about bedding? I’ve gone through so many shitty sets of sheets in the past 5 years and I’m on my second IKEA duvet cover in 3 years. I’ll remember this post next time I want to buy the $19.99 sheets.
Still learning it myself 🙂 It got kind of silly to me when I realized I won’t spend $100 for bedding but I’ll plop down $50 for a sushi like it’s no big deal. You have to prioritize your discretionary spending, but at the same time, if you’re spending more over time by cheaping out, it’s not very frugal! For me, it helps to remember that!
Hey Kristin, I just wanna say that you are really doing great job by sharing these type of post which help us in our real life. Amazing one!
We’re trying to find a mattress that will help my husband’s back, and we saw one for sale for $6K. I asked my husband if he thought a $6K mattress might last two decades. If so, I would gladly drop the cash on it.
Yeeeaaaah I would have a hard time on that one, too. Mattresses are so expensive! I had a hard time paying $2k for ours, but I have to say it’s pretty awesome and the years of sound sleep have been worth it.
I haven’t bought a “Tuft and Needle” mattress but I have researched it…read some blog reviews (pf bloggers too) as well as Amazon reviews (they are all excellent). The company argues that mattresses shouldn’t be that expensive. Most of the money is just a mark up. https://www.tuftandneedle.com/about/truth
It’s like the Warby Parker of mattresses…(I think they also donate mattresses to the needy). I might be in the market for a mattress so I’ll have to look into it more.
Sometimes spending money just makes sense…yes, yes it does. This statement is probably better said to frugal types because non-frugal people might take that as a license to overspend. When I read frugal blogs about cloth diapers, it crossed my mind briefly to try it when my son was born…but when you’re sleep deprived, tired and the laundry room is in the basement of your apartment complex…you go with disposable diapers. Same with DIY projects…I’m not handy. I’ll admit that. I can waste time and cause myself stress trying to fix or build something myself or just pay someone else to do it. Sometimes spending money just makes sense =)
Good point! It’s definitely more applicable advice for those of us who tend to fall on the frugal side of the fence.
I think that if you have the money, it’s worth the investment if it’s an improvement in quality and lifespan. Sometimes you only have $20, so you make do. That’s life. But if you have more and can afford it, it’s often a much longer term play and better investment to buy higher quality. It’s not always more expensive, you can still find clever ways to save like understanding the specious thread counts and using coupons, but it’s almost always worth it. 🙂
Plus this Aziz Ansari bit is relevant — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2o1U2pWcR34
Ha! Love that bit.
Yeah, it very much depends on where you’re at financially, among other factors. But as someone who only recently found financial security, it’s been hard for me to let go of just cheaping out on everything, because I feel like being frugal played a big part in finding that security. There’s no one-size fits all answer to figuring out whether “just spending the money” makes sense, but for me, what’s helped is weighing the cost of splurging for quality against what I could give up to recoup that cost. A few sushi dinners? Not a big deal to give up. But skipping a credit card payment? That puts you in a vulnerable position, so it’s probably not worth it.
Sometimes some of the skills that got you to where you are today will not longer get you to the next phase in your life. That’s a lesson that I am still learning. I was taught to be frugal but now that I have the means, it’s often better to “invest” in higher quality for the things I will use every day because they will last longer and, over that time, cost less.
Like when someone is paying off debt, you want to save and scrimp everywhere because every extra dollar should go towards paying off that high interest debt. But when you’ve paid it all off, the extra dollar in savings will net you <1% while "investing" in higher quality will give you a much better return over a longer period of time.
I LOVE Fight Club. I don’t think that movie got enough respect in its day.
I’m having this dilemma right now. I had an iPhone 5s which I LOVED (not a fan of the bigger phones nowadays) but now it’s being weird and won’t really charge so I felt it was a good time to replace it. Instead of getting a shiny new iPhone 6s (or a used 6 or 5s) I decided to go with a cheaper Android phone because I sure as hell don’t wanna pay $750 for a phone! I know I know #firstworldproblems.
I hear ya. Speaking of first world complaining, I actually hate getting a new phone because you have to transfer everything over, and I’m lazy, so that’s been a pretty good deterrent from overspending on one for me 🙂
Well. The great thing about iPhones is that you can back em up to iTunes and have the new phone look exactly like the old phone. I’m spending a good deal of time downloading all the same apps or similar apps on my new Android. Fun!!!
I’m still rocking my college bedding four years post-graduation because it was a nice quality gift from my parents and still just super comfy! But…it doesn’t fit my grown up bed properly, so I keep debating when it will be time to just pony up for new, fitted, I’m a grown-ass-woman-now bedding?
In the same line of thinking, what are your feelings towards services that free up our time but cost a little bit more? I flip-flop about doing things like Fresh Direct (I still haven’t splurged on laundry service) to free up some time. But I’ve also found that the amount of time it takes me to pick what I want and look around for deals on the website, is about the same amount of shopping online as I would just walking the 6 blocks to the grocery store.
Haha! Yeah, I’m all for time-saving, but some of those services do seem like overkill, at least for my situation. I guess it all depends on where you’re at financially, and for stuff like that, what’s helped me is calculating the value of my time and even the value of my free time. And that value changes (especially as a freelancer)! When I lost my job, I had more time to give, but now, not so much, so I may be more apt to try a service like that. Actually, I DID try a grocery delivery service like Fresh Direct. But I kind of had the same experience as you–I could’ve probably walked down the street and picked up some stuff in the same amount of time it took me to use the app 🙂
this is a great post.
What type of mattress did you get? Now those can get REALLY expensive. But a great mattress is worth its weight in gold!
Sam
We got a tempurpedic a while back and it was $2k. I have ZERO regrets about buying it. 🙂
Super article!
My principle: “the item that I have is the best item” . But sometimes I need to buy another, see your case.
So, I keep a budget for this and buy at reduction at a half of the price. That’s why I have 1 quality duvet bought several years ago (I don’t remember when!! but it wasn’t cold!) and 2 bed sheets about 5 years old (or more? or less?)
This items are used daily. So I can put more money on these. Same for shoes used daily. But I will cut the price for items just once used.
WOW I totally agree with this! In fact I am in bed in my most expensive duvet cover… It has faded a bit over the years, but it is still good. When i was younger i used to skimp and i had once sheet get tough hard balls on it after 5 days…. who know that one day where i went crazy from not shopping in months and i went and spend $300 on pillows and sheets has paid off.
OH! that is also a good tip for everyone, invest in decent pillows and some pillow protectors. These new pillows i got on sale $50 for 2… so $100 on pillows seems CRAZY! but these pillows havent defluffed or become lumpy. They are fantastic.