I don’t have an aha! money moment. There’s no life-changing, turnaround moment that put me on track with my finances. That would make for a more interesting story, but the truth is, my parents have always been pretty good with money. They taught me some valuable lessons that stuck, and they allowed me to fail just enough to learn from my failure.
One of the biggest lessons they taught me was the power of control.
When my mom worked a crappy, minimum wage job, she didn’t feel like she had much control. She loves telling me about her own turnaround money moment. She was complaining to my aunt about her financial situation, and my aunt told her to save. I recounted the rest of the story a while back at Get Rich Slowly:
My aunt stressed the importance of saving; my mom bemoaned her earnings. “Even if I could save, the most would be, what, five bucks a week?” That was before she was serious. “Why bother?”
“Even a quarter adds up,” my aunt told her. Finally, just to see how much it would add up, my mom decided to commit to saving. It was worth a shot, she thought. She wanted to see if my aunt was right. Her saving started as an experiment more than anything else.
“But once I started, I didn’t stop,” she told me. “I stuck to it.”
She stuck to it enough to save up thousands of dollars. Working at a grocery store. It took time and energy, but she learned an important lesson about control. Money isn’t easy. And there are so many factors beyond our control that make it even more difficult to manage. Control is a huge part of getting your money in order, though, so it’s helpful to focus on the factors you do have control over, in spite of the many that work against you. The problem is, we often miss out on opportunities to take control because we convince ourselves of certain “truths.”
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With this in mind, I interviewed Jean Chatzky, TODAY show financial editor, and Leanne Jacobs, author of Beautiful Money. I asked about the most common excuses that rob us of control, and ultimately, getting our finances in order. You can read the full post here at mental floss, but below are a few important takeaways.
Resourcefulness Is an Asset
When you don’t have much else working in your favor, resourcefulness can make a big difference. You start seeing opportunities to save more or earn more, and then you seize those opportunities. You ditch the word should for the words what if. For a while, one big obstacle in getting my finances together was telling myself, “I work hard. I should be able to spend my money, however I want to spend it.” That led to a lot of bad money decisions.
When I embraced resourcefulness, though, I started thinking, “What if I earned some side income to pay for the stuff I want?” It’s just one example, and it’s not realistic for everyone. That’s the point of resourcefulness, though: finding what is possible. Chatzky sums this up pretty well when she says you have to “put yourself in a position of control.”
The Basics of Personal Finance Are Pretty Simple
A lot of people give up on personal finance before they even start because it seems like a lot of rules and math. It’s easier than it seems, though, and here’s what Jacobs suggested:
“Grab three best-selling money management books and start reading. Act as if you just enrolled for a degree in leadership and finance and be a student of wealth. The first money management book I read cover to cover gave me the energy and will to start automating my savings that same day.”
Small Actions Lead to Big Change
Even when your finances seem overwhelming and your options seem limited, you can always take some action. Maybe it’s setting a goal. Maybe it’s cutting back on your bills. Maybe it’s just saying “no” to impulsive spending. However small the action may be, the important thing is that it 1) puts you in a position of control over your finances, and 2) it’s an action you can feel good about.
These are just a few highlights. Both Chatzky and Jacobs made some additional, excellent points in the full article, which you can read here.
Managing your money is like going to the dentist or standing in line at the DMV. Nobody wants to do it, but at some point, it’s inevitable: you need to clean your teeth, renew your license, and manage your money like a grown-up.
I never had an ‘a ha’ moment either and I wonder if not having one, and not looking for one, is the reason why I have no problem pursuing small changes and incremental improvements too.
Interesting–you mean it’s easier because the fundamentals are already kind of understood? That makes sense. Learning that small actions can pay off is a big “aha” moment for a lot of people, so when you grow up learning it, it’s a lot easier to get on board!
Control was the reason I really got into personal finance. Working in the arts – SOOO much is outside of your control, my money was one place I felt mastery, even when I didn’t have much of it.
I know what you mean. I think that’s why I gravitate to personal finance, too. It’s amazing to see what can happen when you take action, and that feeling of control is awesome. I have to say, sometimes that’s worked against me (i.e. I’ve taken jobs I didn’t enjoy just because of the money). That’s just me being counterproductive, though. The more I learn about money, the more I realize it’s not the goal. Control is using it to do the things you want, live the life you want.
For a long time, I thought that getting wealthy and being in control with your money were things that rich and greedy people did. I limited myself so much growing up by not dreaming big because I just didn’t think true success was for me. I would have been content growing up w/ an average job and a “normal life”.
As you know, my aha moment is becoming a father. Now I HAVE to succeed beyond my wildest expectation. There is no other option. I want my daughter to have a father that did something special so I can inspire her to become an even better version of myself and my wife 🙂
I hear you! To me, greed is just the other extreme of being controlled by money, rather than the other way around. And that’s an awesome aha moment. I was lucky that I grew up with parents that taught me some powerful money lessons, and I bet your daughter will have that same experience 🙂
I love that you used the word resourcefulness! It makes the whole process sound more grown up and more productive than saying “cutting back” or “second Job”. It also makes you sound more clever to be resourceful than to be thrifty. I am going to be rephrasing some things that I say! Thanks!
Haha I think it’s more accurate, too! It’s about finding opportunities that are unique to your own situation, rather than just following rules or doing what you’re “supposed” to do. I wrote a thing about it here: http://twocents.lifehacker.com/golden-rules-won-t-get-your-money-in-order-resourceful-1733675834